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Paul Mitchinson is a part-time writer and a full-time father of two. He writes when he can. » more about me

Promo-Goof

April 4th, 2008

The slow, sad decline of CBC Radio 2 continues apace, and has been well reported. So it might seem just a little petty to complain about something as insignificant as the official “voice” of the radio: “Promo-boy.” The successor to the the widely despised “promo-girl,” “promo-boy” is unique in that he has defaced not only Radio 1, but the previously sacrosanct confines of Radio 2, with his inane commentary and irritating diction.

Here’s a sample of his promo spots for upcoming programs: One performer’s “fresh style is always original.” Another performer’s “signature vulnerable performances are punctuated by driving rhythms.” But an absolute gem was dispensed just a couple days ago in a promo spot for a concert by Marie-Jo Thériault. It’s a beaut, complete with redundancies, plenty of meaningless descriptive phrases, and even a problem with verb conjugation at the end. Take 20 seconds out of your day and have a listen:

Her passion moves an audience with genuine emotion. Her musical vision is swift, deep, and transports the listener. And, her Acadian roots not only define her music, but defines her as an artist. She’s Marie-Jo Thériault, on the next Canada Live.

Naomi KleinAbu Ghraib got you down? Massacres in Falluja making you feel blue? Try a drop or two of Bach Rescue Remedy–it’s recommended by none other than Naomi Klein! After the release of the Abu Ghraib photos, she confesses that she felt a little off-kilter. “It was scary to be a Westerner,” she tells a Styles reporter in today’s New York Times. “A lot of reporters were on Valium.”

Klein opted for something more “homeopathic” to clear up her condition. Despite her endorsement, unfortunately, Klein insists that she has “no real sense that [the product] works. I think of it like a kind of talisman. I like the old-fashioned country-doctor packaging.”

Garth Turner has a well-earned reputation as an independent-minded Member of Parliament. I voted Conservative in the last election largely because of his support for gay marriage. I even joined the Conservative Party to help defend him against a nomination challenge. (After Stephen Harper turfed him out of caucus last year, I promptly tore up my membership card.)

He is sanctimonious and self-aggrandizing, but what politician isn't?

But beginning with his ill-advised decision to join the Liberal Party — after criticizing other MPs for switching party allegiance — Turner has gradually shed his reputation as an honorable and principled political actor. The last straw, for me, was this report from a couple days ago, on his current trip out west.

In Edmonton there was a top-of-the-lung rant by a pesky senior, decrying all things Conservative; a dire prediction I ‘ll be tossed out of the Liberal party by Stephane Dion within 30 months for my unique pain-in-the-ass qualities; an anti-immigrant tirade that almost caused a dustup in the audience; several pleas that oil come second to the environment; and the intervention by a pack of young Liberals who showed up to argue Nine Eleven was an inside job, and Canada is morally bankrupt to be fighting George Bush’s illegal war in Afghanistan.

Actually, that last group was persuasive. Not that I buy the conspiracy theory – not yet, anyway. But I was struck by their fervour and commitment. They loaded me up with literature and CDs, and made me promise I would blog about this. And I did.

There are two things that struck me about this passage. First of all, 9-11 conspiracy theories are apparently considered unremarkable in the Liberal Party. It's one thing for individual Liberals to quietly grumble such nonsense among friends; it's quite another for a "pack" of them to feel comfortable in publicly haranguing an MP on the subject. This should be national news, IMHO.

Second, and most depressing, is Turner's cowardice. He's not quite ready to don the tin-foil hat ("not yet, anyway"), but gosh those boys were "persuasive."

What an ass.

Repetitive. And Repetitious.

August 9th, 2007

Warren Kinsella in today's National Post:

Graffiti is ubiquitous; it's everywhere.

And one paragraph later, in case you didn't get it:

It's all over the place. . . . 

Kinsella is always tiresome. Tedious too.

Trash Talking

August 1st, 2007

Can reading a book rot your brains? Last week's article in the New York Times about the children's book series, Junie B. Jones, got me thinking.

The journalist does a good job of drawing the controversy over the books to battles over phonics and "whole language." And her summary of Junie B. Jones' voice is almost perfect:

And though she is the narrator of the stories, she struggles with grammar. Her adverbs lack the suffix “ly”; subject and object pronouns give her problems, as do possessives; she usually isn’t able to conjugate irregular past tense verbs; and words like funnest and beautifuller are the mainstays of her vocabulary.

I say "almost perfect" because the problem with the books isn't that Junie "struggles with grammar." It's that she doesn't struggle with grammar. Her grammar is, in fact, as strict and rule-bound as a mathematical equation. Unlike most children, in fact, Junie doesn't slip up with irregular verbs — she conjugates them uniformly incorrectly. Junie's solecisms don't bother me most — it's her lack of imagination and literal adherence to a small set of rules. She doesn't sound like a child to me — she sounds like a robot.

What makes this particularly problematic is that the books are written in the first person. The only voice the reader ever gets is Junie B. Jones's voice. There is no contrasting 3rd-person narrator (as in Winnie the Pooh, for instance) who might alert children to the fact that Junie isn't speaking correctly.

The author's comparison of her book with Huckleberry Finn might be legitimate, except for one thing. Huck Finn isn't pitched at the level of novice readers who are still struggling with the elements of proper grammar.

Who’s your doggy?

October 20th, 2006

According to today's Toronto Star,

Liberals are calling for an apology from Foreign Affairs Minister Peter MacKay, for allegedly referring to Belinda Stronach, the Aurora MP and his former girlfriend, as a dog.

As a historical service, I thought I'd offer a brief — and far from exhaustive — sampling of canine-themed insults from recent days in the House of Commons.

Mr. Michel Guimond (Beauport—Montmorency—Orléans, BQ):

Mr. Speaker, just before beginning, could you ask the chihuahua for Bourassa to do his barking outside the House? I am utterly fed up. ….

I did not call the hon. member for Bourassa a dog, I called him a chihuahua. There is a difference.

Some hon. members: Ha, ha.

Mr. Michel Guimond: A chihuahua is a small dog that yaps a lot but does not bite.

Some hon. members: Ha, ha.

Source: Hansard, December 5, 1997 

Mr. Lynn Myers (Waterloo—Wellington, Lib.): I was very pleased to be called “a young pup” by [Scott Brison]; far better a young pup than an old dog. The Conservatives are nothing under Joe Clark than an old dog with no teeth.

Source: Hansard, March 30, 2000

    Mr. Monte Solberg (Medicine Hat, CPC): Mr. Speaker, the NDP tail is wagging the Liberal dog.

    How incredible that Liberal cabinet ministers are now lobbying NDP members to get things included in the new budget. I guess that Liberal dog must be a lapdog.

    The finance minister may be getting really good at retrieving the NDP leader's slippers, but he is irrelevant as a minister. When will he resign?

    Some hon. members: Hear, hear!

Source: Hansard, May 4, 2005

And finally, Peter MacKay again, this time directing his canine contempt at a man, Ralph Goodale, Liberal Minister of Finance:

Mr. Peter MacKay: Ralph [Goodale, Liberal Minister of Finance] the wonder invisible dog swallowed himself whole and committed to letting the NDP set the stage for the budget ….

Hansard, Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Strangely, not one of these exchanges provoked a front page story in the Star.

Few ideas arouse the righteous indignation of conservatives more than the notion of "moral equivalence." In fact, three weeks ago, the National Post's Comment pages managing editor, Jonathan Kay, explicitly stated that any article that "draws a moral equivalence between terrorists and the nations that fight them," would be"rejected out of hand" by the newspaper.

So it was with some surprise that I saw this morning's Op-Ed, a rousing paean to the creative work and moral message of Dr. Seuss, composed by none other than Jonathan Kay himself.

[Dr. Seuss's] best works provide … a sense of true drama (think of Horton the Elephant's efforts to save his flea-sized colony) — and even a valuable moral. The life lessons I learned from Dr. Seuss stuck with me because they always came embedded in an unforgettable graphic panel …

Now I'm as big a fan of Dr. Seuss's work as anyone, and I largely agree with Kay's assessment. But I find it passing strange that Kay avoided addressing the philosophical heart of Seuss's works: moral equivalence. There are countless examples of this. Star-bellied Sneetches are equivalent to those who have "none upon thars." The north-going Zaks and south-going Zaks mindlessly cleave to their petty differences. And finally, in the Butter Battle Book (1984), which Seuss himself reportedly considered his finest, Yooks and Zooks end up in a pitched arms race threatening the very extinction of their species, over the most laughable difference:

"It's high time that you knew," the old Yook grandfather tells his grandson, "of the terribly horrible things that Zooks do."

"In every Zook house and in every Zook town
every Zook eats his bread
with the butter side down!

"But we Yooks, as you know,
when we breakfast or sup,
spread our bread," Grandpa said,
"with the butter side up.
That's the right, honest way!"

The parallels with the Cold War — or at least how Ted Geisel viewed the Cold War — are transparent.

One thing is certain: Dr Seuss would never have been published on the Post's opinion pages.

[I published this in the March 2006 Playbill of the San Francisco Orchestra.]

Pity the ghost of Dmitri Shostakovich. Thirty years after his death, it seems his soul will never be allowed to rest in peace. Hounded by Stalinist commissars during his lifetime, ridiculed by Western modernists to this day, Shostakovich remains one of the twentieth century's most embattled cultural figures.

Mercifully, things look rather different on today's stages. Had he lived to his 100th birthday this year, Shostakovich might have allowed himself one of his characteristic wincing smiles. For his musical opponents have been all but vanquished in the concert hall. Shostakovich reigns supreme.

Not everyone is pleased with this turn of events. Read the rest of this entry »

Daycare vs childcare: Cui bono?

September 15th, 2006

UCCB chequeTwo things came to mind after getting my second "universal childcare" cheque in the mail the other day. First, there is numerical proof that I am now more father than writer, more caregiver than historian. It's been a difficult adjustment to make for someone who has virtually lived in libraries and archives, and who has spent far FAR more time in lecture halls than in playgrounds. But the numbers don't lie. I now earn my keep not through my pen, but through my children. And what a wonderful life it is.

The second thing I realized is how little reliable information there is out there about the Universal Childcare Benefit (UCCB): whom it benefits, whom it disappoints. The Toronto Star has lavished much hostile attention on the UCCB, but it has exercised impressive restraint in asking actual parents with young children what they think. (Its coverage of parental reactions to the UCCB announcement in the Conservative budget last May, for instance, consisted of two stories — one before and one after the budget came down. The reporter spoke to two families. In total. The same two were used in each story.)

For non-Canadians, a quick primer: the UCCB is a program introduced by the new Conservative government to support parents with young children. Instead of financing a system of universal state-subsidized daycare (as in the province of Quebec), the Conservatives chose to provide direct cash payments of $100/month for each child 6 and under. This money can be used to defray the costs of any kind of childcare arrangement — not just institutionalized daycare. (It can also be used to buy beer and popcorn, of course, but that's another story.)

Let's start with what is really bad about the program. First of all, the name. I was willing to hold my tongue when the Conservatives first dubbed their program the Universal Childcare Benefit, since it seemed plausible that the "universal" referred to the "benefit" rather than the "childcare." But now we have the official website, universalchildcare.ca, that exposes this little game.

The other major problem is that the UCCB is, in part, a shell game. The $1200/year UCCB was implemented at the same time that a similar $249/year benefit (the Canada Child Tax Benefit's Young Child Supplement) was axed. This is simple dishonesty. What's more, by replacing an income-tested benefit (the Young Child Supplement) with a universal benefit, higher-income earners benefit disproportionately. This stinks. It should be fixed.

But the bigger problem, according to the UCCB's main critics, is the program's overall tax design. Since the UCCB is considered income taxable in the hands of the lower-income spouse, it results in certain disparities among different kinds of families. The progressive Caledon Institute think tank has spent months focussing on modest-income ($30,000/year), dual-earner families as the "biggest losers " in this regard. Losers? How much income was snatched away from them? In February, Caledon claimed such families would benefit $460/year from the UCCB. In April, they adjusted this figure to $199/year. In May, they admitted the net benefit was actually over three times this — well over $600. So the "biggest losers" are actually winners — just not as big winners as other families, particularly single-income families.

Is this a problem? Well, equity is a laudable goal in tax design. Caledon's Richard Zuker got it just right when he opined in one recent paper that:

Regulated child care is clearly not the preferred or only acceptable method of child care for many parents in all circumstances. If the federal government is going to financially support the provision of child care, it is difficult to see why parents should not be treated equitably in exercising their choice.

Unfortunately, it's a little late in the day for Caledon and other "progressive" critics to be complaining about tax "equity" for parents. The system has been broken for some time.

This fact deserves emphasis: Dual-earner families reap massive tax advantages under the current tax system — particularly if they send their children to day care. While the Caledon Institute furrows its brows over a $100/year "inequity" that advantages single-earner couples, they remain conspicuously silent on the thousands of dollars that advantage dual-earner couples under the current tax system. Consider the following table, outlining how much tax an Ontario couple with one child could expect to pay in 2005:

Family income Tax burden (with no child in daycare) Tax burden (with $6,000 annual daycare expenses)
$30,000 single-earner couple $3,117 $3,117
$30,000 dual-earner (20/10) couple $2,254 $1,091
$50,000 single-earner couple $9,313 $9,313
$50,000 dual-earner (35/15) couple $7,270 $5,959

Just so we're clear here: If you're a family making all of $30,000/year, and you wish to raise a young child at home instead of leaving her in a daycare, the government considers this choice so absurd and socially irresponsible that it will confiscate $2,000 of your annual income. For a family making $30,000/year, that is a serious chunk of money. What if you're part of a family making the princely sum of $50,000/year (still well below the median)? Well, for the privilege of keeping your child out of daycare, you better pony up another $3,350.

The Canadian government, in other words, has already conferred massive tax subsidies on daycares or, to put it differently, tax penalties on those parents who persist in raising their young children at home.

It is this reality that highlights the incoherence of the advocates of universal state-sponsored daycare. Probably the most popular argument for this position is that families need two incomes to keep a household going today. Having one parent stay home to raise one's young children is "not a choice" for most couples today; it is a "luxury" reserved for only the most upper-income families.

To the extent that this is true (and there is definitely some truth to this position), what should a government do? Well, if these critics mean what they say about the restriction of parental choice due to falling family incomes, then the answer is clear: Expand these choices. If raising a child at home is a "luxury" — and thus presumably desirable but unattainable for many parents — why not work to make this "luxury" available to all? As things stand now, far from helping to enable this choice, the tax system is a significant factor in discouraging it. A multi-million-dollar universal daycare scheme would merely exaggerate the already massive tax incentives (and penalties) that have turned child-rearing in the home to be such an unthinkable "luxury."

Quebec daycare statsBut thanks to Quebec, which has already established its own universal daycare system, we now know that the critics of the UCCB are advancing an argument that is as robust as a soggy diaper. The notion that daycare is a social program designed to help lower-income families is a fraud. As careful research has shown, precisely the reverse is true. (Hat tip: economist Stephen Gordon over at breadnroses.ca) According to research completed by Mathieu Grenier, an MA student at Université du Québec à Montréal, the wealthiest 25% of families are more than twice as likely to send their children to daycare as the poorest 25%. (Click on the table on the right.) Wealthy families also enjoy childcare subsidies over twice as large as poor families. If this is an example of a successful social program designed to help the poor, I would hate to see a failure.

Ikea2 Wish I could help! How's this for a start?

"Avoid piling up large boxes and mattresses that completely obstruct access to your 'Help us improve!' station."