Paul Mitchinson is a part-time writer and a full-time father of two. He writes when he can. » more about me

Canada’s new Conservative government is set to bring in their new child-care program — as early as July 1st. Hallelujah! I know I speak for many stay-at-home parents who just can’t wait to blow it all on beer and popcorn. For me, it’ll be Steamwhistle and Orville Redenbacher — unfortunately, the inferior microwavable kind. (Neither my 22-month-old or 4-year-old can quite handle a pot of hot oil yet, though they’re good at pressing buttons on the microwave and ferrying drinks to my La-Z-Boy!)

Surely it’s obvious by now that the Liberals blew it by failing to appeal to deadbeat parents like me. If the Liberals were just dying to create another massively expensive bureaucracy, why’d they settle on a national day care program — which provides few benefits to those who just want extra money for munchies?

A far better idea would have been a national home-cleaning program. For actual living breathing parents (unlike the bureaucrats in Ottawa who claim to speak for them after dropping their kid off at daycare) raising young children at home presents obstacles greater than forgoing income. Instead of reading and cuddling, much of your day is spent simply cleaning: clothes, dishes, floors, walls, counters, sinks, toilets, you name it. I’d gladly forgo the popcorn (though not the beer!) if I could afford to bring someone in twice a week to mop the floors and do the laundry. My children would benefit, too — more hugs, more lectures on Soviet history and Shostakovich. Fortunately, I can now have my cake and chips … and eat them too!

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